mother / daughter
Ali Daddo is a former 80s Dolly cover girl, a mum of three, a writer and a plastic-hater. Her daughter, Lotus Daddo, is 23 and studying Fine Arts Photography and Situated Media. WinWin asks the mother / daughter duo what they’ve learned in life so far.
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What I know about positivity:
Ali: There has never been anything in my life that I have not looked back on and say, “Ah now I see why that happened, without that experience I would not have had X Y or Z.”
Lotus: I like to think that positivity attracts positivity, both with people and circumstances.
What I know about negativity:
Ali: When I feel like the world is against me and everything is going wrong, that’s where my focus ends up and sure enough, more negative experiences arrive on my doorstep.
Lotus: For me, I’ve learnt that negativity is always going to be there, so don’t be afraid of it. I’m learning that the key is to not let it eat me.
What I know about social media:
Ali: I’ve seen the negative effects of social media on my family, and yet I’ve also personally benefited from using it. It is addictive, that I know for sure. I feel that the pendulum will swing back to more balance at some stage, right now it’s a bit intoxicating. Eventually social media will not be as shiny and we’ll lift our heads and talk more. I hope.
Lotus: Social media is wonderful and terrible all at once. It forms connections while also breaks them. I think it’s an oxymoron. I try to take everything I see on a social media platform with a grain of salt. Sometimes I need a tablespoon.
What I know about hardship:
Ali: Hardship is important, I’ve learnt my greatest and most important lesson through hardship. Maybe that’s more of a comment from a 49 year old! While the hardship was happening I felt like the end of the world was upon me. Yet if you can learn something, anything from hardship it becomes a great tool for growth. I hope this is something I have instilled in our children.
Lotus: I feel underqualified to answer this, as I’ve been very fortunate to live a life with little hardship. I’d like to think that life doesn’t throw anything at you that you can’t handle.
Ali on teenagers:
I still remember my teen years. I do my best to think about how I felt and behaved at the time so I can better understand my children. Kids are smart as hell; they know how technology works, they are motivated, and they are our best hope for solving the world’s issues, especially climate change. There is more to navigate with social media, comparisons and online bullying, but I have faith that our youth will make a big change to this planet.
Lotus on mothers:
I often look at my mother and wonder how she does it. Motherhood is incredibly difficult and rewarding all at the same time.
What I know about mental health:
Ali: See a therapist. Let’s take the stigma and embarrassment out of seeking help; all of our family has seen a therapist at one point or another. Mental health is everything; it affects your whole environment. There needs to be more conversation around mental health in schools.
Lotus: In my experience, all the bubble baths, facemasks and beauty juices won’t make me feel any better if my mind isn’t healthy. I’ve learnt that if you’re going to take care of anything, mental health should always come first. Everything else will fall in line.
What I know about humour:
Ali: This is the cure for so much! Lotus and I have very similar senses of humour and it’s quirky: when everyone else in the family is staring straight faced at a joke, we are falling about on the floor. Nothing can change a situation quite like being able to laugh.
Lotus: It’s been said a thousand times, but laugh with people, not at people. I think that humour can keep you humble and help shift your perspective. I know that whenever I’ve been whining about something trivial, I always appreciate it when humour is used to make me snap out of it.
What I know about career:
Ali: Try everything! Don’t stay stuck in any job you are not happy in. Being challenged at work is great if you still love the work at the end of the day, but move on if you feel like a part of you is dying each time you show up to the office.
Lotus: I think careers are chapters. They don’t always have to be “perfect” and they don’t always have to stay the same. Sometimes they’re short and sometimes they last the rest of your life. Sometimes, you have no idea what you’re doing (like me!). But I’m learning to respect the process.
Lotus: my favourite mum-line…
“I only have two rules: always tell the truth and stay away from Ouija boards.”
Ali: my favourite Lotus-ism…
Pretty much everything about Lotus is my favourite, she’s just a funny, creative, quirky and most importantly kind compassionate human.